physically, emotionally and mentally tired.

I am tired of feeling alone. I am tired of feeling like no one cares. I am tired of everything. I'm going to be a senior in 4months. I'm applying to colleges in 4months. I'm taking SAT's next month. I'm going to go to college next year. I'm graduating next year around this time. I don't feel prepared. I want to cry. I miss my parents and I don't want to do anything. I feel stuck. I'm here trying to figure myself out and being independent but this environment i'm in isn't preparing me for it. I miss my dad especially because I know him more than i knew my mom. I still miss her too but not as much because I was younger and don't remember too much. I miss my dads hugs or when my dad said I love you. Or how he held my hand when ever I cried. I went through the biggest heart break of my life when he was still around andd he didn't know why I was crying but he tried to help anyway. I miss how someone would care so much about me. I hate when people ask me if i'm okay about him gone now. No of course not. In a span of 8years i lost both my parents the two people who mean the world to me. Who do I have left? Family members who say they care but don't show it. Friends who are like family but have their own. I feel left out. I feel unwanted and unimportant. I feel like if i slipped out of the room no one would care i was gone. I'm emotionally tired to the point where I want someone to love. I want someone to love me back as much as I would love them. I hate wanting someone who doesn't want me back. I know I deserve someone who will treat me right. I know i'm young and i'm still in high school. None of those relationships last but i'm hoping i find someone who will be there. I probably wont find a person like that.

someone to heal my aching heart.

I put on a smile pretending like it's okay.

Only some can hear it in my voice

that a part of me is gone

theres something different about me

not many can tell

when you do

i feel like you keep me company simply because you feel sorry for me

i don't want your pity

i want someone who truly cares

i need someone who isn't there only when they feel the need to be there

I just want someone who cares.